


Destiel Drabbles

by All_Phlochte_All_The_Time



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Human Castiel, M/M, Slash, Smut, established Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 12,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Phlochte_All_The_Time/pseuds/All_Phlochte_All_The_Time
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of 30 Destiel drabbles told in first person from Cas' point of view. They can be read as a whole or as separate entities but they are not dependent on one another. They take place after Cas has become a human and is living in the bunker with Sam and Dean. Established Destiel. A few smut chapters, mostly fluff. PS I'm really proud of these so some feedback would be great!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Girl

I heard the music blasting all the way from the living area and I made my way downstairs with a furrowed brow, curious as to what Dean was doing while Sam was gone. I walked in on him dancing around the room, pretending to hold an invisible microphone.

“I’ve got sunshine…on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside...I’ve got the month of May…” 

Dean’s voice was truly exquisite; it was the first time I’d ever heard it and I’d never heard anything like it in my entire life. His lithe frame swayed with the tune.

“I guess you’d say...what can make me feel this way? My girl...talkin’ bout my girl...”

He turned around and the next verse slipped from his lips when he saw me watching him. His eyes widened and a blush spread over his cheeks.

“Continue, Dean. Please. I enjoy it,” I said with a smile, hoping he’d continue.

By this time, the musical interlude was playing, and Dean walked towards me, wrapping one arm around my waist and grabbing my hand with his. I laughed and placed my free arm over his, letting him lead me around the room.

“I don’t need no money...fortune or fame. I’ve got all the riches, baby...one man can claim….”

I couldn’t help but smile as Dean sang, his lips pressed my ear as he moved his body closer to mine. We were pressed together as he finished the song, our bodies moving in tandem. My forehead was pressed against his neck and I could feel his breath tickling my ear as he sang. 

“I’ve even got the month of May with my girl. Talkin’ bout, talkin’ bout, talkin’ bout, my girl…”

The record continued spinning and we continued to move as the next song came on. Dean pulled back, as did I, and we looked at each other for a moment before he pressed his lips to mine.

“You breathe a word of this to Sam and I swear, babe, you are dead. I don’t care how much of the month of May you bring me.”

I merely laughed, making no promises, as I pressed my lips to Dean’s once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: My Girl, The Temptations


	2. Cold

“I really can’t stay; but baby it’s cold outside; I’ve got to go away…”

I could hear the Christmas song coming from inside the bunker as I sat outside. Inside, Sam and Dean were decorating the tree together, the smell of warm cider also wafting out into the cool, crisp air. It was the first time in a long time that the boys had a home for the holidays.

I sat on the steps outside, shivering as the snow fell down around me. This was the first snowfall since I became human and I wanted to be outside to experience it. The snow was so beautiful, so quiet. It brought along with it a peacefulness that nothing else could bring. 

It was freezing out and goosebumps rose over my skin and my teeth chattered but I ignored it. I just wanted to be outside. I wanted to witness one of my Father’s greatest creations in nature as a human. Everything was so different now that I was a human.

“Look out the window at that storm; my sister will be suspicious…”

“Gosh your lips look delicious.”

Dean’s voice startled me and I looked up at him with a smile. He really should sing more; his voice was beautiful, one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Dean sat down next to me and wrapped a large blanket around the both of us, pulling me close to him.

“You shouldn’t be out here, Cas. It’s freezing. You can get sick now, you’ll catch a cold.” Dean’s voice was slightly harsh yet loving at the same time.

“I know,” I whispered with a sigh, “I just wanted to watch the snow.” I let my head rest against his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh as I pressed my cold nose into his neck, reveling in the warmth that spread throughout my body. 

Dean pressed his lips to the top of my head, humming along softly with the song. We sat there for a few moments, in each other’s arms. My heart felt heavy each time I took in a breath of cold winter air. Things were so different now. I was useless. I couldn’t even keep Dean warm. I looked up at the man, staring into those deep green eyes.

“What is it, angel?” he asked softly, knitting his brows.

“I just...love you very much, Dean,” I said in reply before pressing my lips to Dean’s.

He chuckled softly against my lips before standing and pulling me with him. “C’mon, baby. Let’s go warm up inside. I’ve got some ornaments for you to hang up on the tree.”

I smiled and followed Dean inside, realizing once I stepped in just how cold I was. We curled up on the couch, ornaments forgotten as he kissed me, warming me up with those soft lips. It was then that I knew I was home and that everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Baby It's Cold Outside, Dean Martin


	3. Impala

The first time Dean let me work on the Impala with him was also the day of our first real fight. I’d been watching him work on the car for the past week, meticulously repairing rusting parts, making sure she purred perfectly. 

It was hot outside and Dean worked without a shirt on, his muscles rippling beneath his tanned skin. I sat beneath the shade of a tree, sipping cool water and watching Dean carefully. He was polishing the black exterior of the car, his brows furrowed in concentration.

“Dean,” I started timidly, standing up and walking over to him. I placed my hands on his hips, smiling as he straightened up and turned to press a kiss to my temple.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Dean, could you teach me how to…” I gestured towards the car, shrugging a little. I just wanted to give Dean a helping hand.

He smiled and obliged, showing me how to pour the wax on and rub it off with a good amount of strength.

I did as he was told, working on the exterior as he did the interior. It seemed as if I wasn’t rubbing hard enough or fast enough and the wax just hazed over and left a white residue over the car. Dean came over to look at my work and appeared as if he was having a conniption. 

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was dangerously low and he turned slowly, a terrible glare shining across his handsome features. “Cas, why didn’t you tell me you were having trouble?”

“I…” I stammered, fumbling with the rag in my hands.

“Castiel!” Dean’s voice echoed throughout the yard and I whimpered, backing away slowly. 

“Dean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Go! Just go inside, Cas. I can’t...I need to fix this.”

I turned and quickly ran into the house, unable to stop the flow of tears streaming from my eyes. I fell to the floor, clutching at my chest as I sobbed, knowing I must’ve looked like a complete idiot.

Dean found me there, still weeping on the floor, half an hour later. He bent down, trying to pull me into his arms. I refused, backing away from him and kicking out my feet. He’d finally herded me against the wall and I had nowhere else to go.

“Cas, is this about the car?”

I nodded, opening my eyes to look at Dean, afraid he was going to yell at me again. Dean merely sighed and closed his eyes, casting his head down and shaking it before looking up at me again.

“Cas, baby, I’m sorry. It was just...I was hot out there and I’d been working for so long. I guess I was just tired. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

Dean’s apology was sincere, I knew that, but still, my lip trembled as fresh tears continued to spill down my cheeks. Dean finally managed to pull me into his arms and I just sat there, sobbing into his bare shoulder, my body shaking against his. 

“Shh, Cas, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine, angel. I’m here.”

Somehow, Dean knew that this wasn’t just about the car. He knew that I was struggling with being human more than I let on. He knew that I needed him. And he was there for me.


	4. Hunter

“Cas! Behind you!”

I spun, dragging the machete along with me, effectively chopping off the vampire’s head, but not before it could drag its own knife along my arm. I shouted at the newest source of pain, watching as the now headless body fell to the floor. That was the last one.

I heard a clatter as Dean threw his machete to the ground and sprinted over to me. I, too, fell to the floor, my arm, head, leg, and chest throbbing with fresh wounds. Dean grabbed my face, shaking me a bit.

“Cas? C’mon, Cas. Stay with me, baby…Sammy!” Sam came running over at Dean’s call, looking panicked at the scene before him. “Sam, help me get him to the car!”

Sam and Dean lifted me off the ground and half dragged me to the Impala. Dean immediately got into the back seat with me, passing the keys to Sam who drove us furiously back to the bunker. During the entire trip, Dean held me in his arms, looking down at me worriedly, pressing a hand against the wound on my leg.

They brought me to the couch and Sam went off to grab the first aid kit as Dean removed my bloodied clothes and knelt down next to me. Sam watched as Dean wiped my wounds clean. I squirmed at the burning sensations, groaning loudly and begging Dean to stop.

Finally, it was over, and I was patched up, bandages covering the now clean wounds. I was sweating and panting and I opened my eyes to find Sam and Dean both looking down worriedly at me. 

“You ok, Cas?” Sam asked, cocking his head, his hair bouncing. 

I nodded, groaning at the pain in my head. This had been my first hunt and, considering, it had went pretty smoothly. At least I didn’t get myself killed. I looked to Dean, seeking solace in that green gaze.

As soon as my eyes met his, he let out a whimper and threw his arms around my neck, burying his face in my chest. Sam and I exchanged confused looks before I wrapped my arms around Dean. Sam left the room, wanting to give us some space.

“So happy you’re okay, Cas,” Dean whispered softly, his stubble rubbing against my bare chest as he spoke. Dean had been worrying about bringing me on my hunt as a human for weeks; he was relieved that everything had worked out. As was I.

I carded my fingers through his short hair, turning my head to press my lips against his temple. “I’m okay, Dean. I’m fine. It’s going to take a lot more than just a few vampires to get rid of me. I’ll be with you for the rest of forever.”


	5. Drive

I walked with Dean towards the Impala, my nervousness palpable. He tossed me the keys and I caught them in my sweaty hands, fumbling with them before unlocking the car. We slid in and I felt strange sitting behind the wheel.

Dean had finally decided it was time for me to learn how to drive and he even decided that I was going to learn in the Impala, something that scared me very much as I didn’t want to ruin the car in any way.

“Okay, Cas. Put the key in the ignition, put your foot on the brake. Remember which one that is?” He watched as I pressed my right foot to the left pedal. “Good job, baby. Now turn the key…” The Impala roared to life and rumbled, her engine turning over and purring softly. 

He instructed me to put the car in drive and to slowly lift my foot off the gas. I did so, and the car began to roll forwards. “Now...” Dean pulled out a cassette and pushed it in, turning up the radio.

“Asked a girl what she wanted to be, she said baby, can’t you see…”

I furrowed my brows, unsure as to why he chose a song that didn’t seem to fit the occasion. I let the thought leave my mind as I concentrated on driving slowly down the road.

Dean moved over next to me, placing his hand softly on my neck. 

“Baby you can drive my car; yes I’m gonna be a star. Baby you can drive my car and maybe I’ll love you.”

Dean sang along with the music and I laughed softly, shaking my head at his antics. Only Dean. Only my Dean.

“Now put your foot on the gas and push slowly.”

I did as I was told, letting my foot fall onto the pedal very, very slowly and carefully. The Impala slowly began to accelerate. I was driving. I was doing okay. I loosened my grip on the steering wheel just slightly, relaxing a bit as I drove down the road.

Dean kissed my cheek, beaming with pride.

“Beep beep mh beep beep, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Drive My Car, The Beatles


	6. Fly

I had been sprawled out on the grass for what seemed like hours, just staring up at the clouds. It had been so long since I last flew, so long since I’d last pruned my feathers. I sighed, trying to remember what it was like to fly; to soar. I let my eyes close as a breeze blew over me and I imagined myself up in the air.

Suddenly, there was a weight on top of me and the sun had been blocked out by someone. I looked up to see Dean’s figure silhouetted above me and I gave him half of a smile. He frowned, sensing something was wrong.

“What’re you thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Flying. I miss it.” I turned my head away in embarrassment and just as suddenly as the weight had come upon me, it had disappeared. 

Dean was pulling me up to my feet, and I looked at him with confused eyes, wondering what he was up to. He turned around and backed up into me. He reached behind him and grabbed my legs, hoisting me up onto his back.

“Dean! Dean, what’re you doing?” My voice was panicked as I wrapped my arms around his neck, clutching onto him. 

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got you. Gonna make you fly again. C’mon, Cas. Climb up onto my shoulders.”

I sat there for a moment, wide-eyed, until Dean once again told me to get up onto his shoulders. I did as he said, clambering up awkwardly until I was seated on his shoulders, his hands cutching my legs tightly. I grasped his short hair, my heart pounding in fear.

“Put out your arms, Cas! C’mon, fly, baby.” Dean began to run and I wobbled slightly, still clutching his hair. 

After a few moments of Dean’s encouraging words, I let go of his hair and outstretched my arms. It, of course, wasn’t the same as flying but this was pretty great. I laughed as Dean ran, throwing my head back and looking up at the sky. 

Suddenly, Dean and I were tumbling to the ground. We rolled around in the grass for a bit and we finally ended up with Dean pinning me to the ground.

“Thank you,” I said breathlessly, still laughing. Dean grinned down at me, his eyes crinkling in the way that I loved so very much. His only reply was a kiss.


	7. Hobby

Dean had told me on numerous occasions that I needed a hobby. He was right about that. I couldn’t just lay around all day. So, I used Sam’s laptop to search for some good hobbies. I picked up drawing and found that I was quite good at it.

I’d been drawing on scraps of paper I found around the bunker, using mechanical pencils that the boys left around. One afternoon, Dean left without telling me where he was going. He came home with a plethora of art supplies, ranging from sketchpads to canvases and pencils to pastels. I spent the remainder of that day researching what each material was used for.

I kept my art materials all very clean and organized in the room that Dean designated as my personal art room; however, there was a sketchbook that traveled around the bunker quite often. 

This sketchbook in particular held most of my drawings of Dean. There were others, many many others, but this book had most of them. I had a range of drawings of Dean. Dean sleeping, cooking, watching TV, fixing his car, smiling, frowning, hunting, driving, injured...just about everything.

I was curled up on the couch, my hand moving swiftly over the page, my brows furrowed as I tried to remember exactly how Dean’s eyes looked when--

“Hiya, babe. Whatcha workin’ on?” Dean plopped down on the couch next to me, grinning from ear to ear. My eyes went wide and I snapped my sketchbook closed.

“Nothing really…” I hadn’t yet shown him my nearly full book of drawings all of him. I was afraid he wouldn’t like it.

“Aw, c’mon, lemme see.” He reached for the book, frowning when I didn’t hand it over. He managed to tug it out of my hands and he opened it, much to my chagrin.

Dean was quiet as he flipped through the pages, his eyes scanning the drawings.

“These are all of me,” he whispered finally, to which I just nodded.

He finally came to the one I’d just been working on and his eyes went wide. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and I swallowed thickly.

“Cas...is that…” He looked at the image in silence for another few moments. “Is that me when we’re…”

I nodded timidly. The image was of Dean. Dean on top of me and inside me. Particularly, the image was of Dean last night, just as he came inside me, his green eyes staring down at me with such passion and emotion. I had committed the image to memory, planning on adding it to my collection.

“These are beautiful,” Dean whispered, almost reverently, as he let his fingers trail down the reproduced image of his face. He looked at me, his lips slightly parted, the corners twitching up in a small smile. I smiled back at him, shrugging my shoulders.

“I have a beautiful subject.”


	8. Sleep

When I was an angel, I had always watched Dean sleep. It was a habit. I didn’t need sleep myself, so I became accustomed to staying by Dean’s bed just to make sure that nothing happened to the hunter during his slumber.

Now, sleep is a necessity and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss watching Dean sleep. I was up one night, watching the man next to me breathe, watching him sleep peacefully. His bare chest rose and fell with each breath, his face relaxed as dreams flashed in his mind.

I gently ran my fingers over his arm, sighing softly. I stifled a yawn, glancing up at the clock on the night table. It was past 3 am. I just couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes.

Dean shifted in his sleep, moaning my name quietly as he curled into my chest. I smiled at how Dean needed me, even in his dreams, and I draped my arm over his waist, letting my head fall to the pillow next to Dean’s. 

I pressed a kiss to Dean’s nose, smiling fondly as I let my eyes slowly shut, letting Dean’s peaceful and beautiful face be the last image I saw before I drifted off.


	9. Twisted

Our legs were tangled, his body sinuously wrapped around mine. I groaned softly as I tried to move, effectively trapped in Dean’s grasp. Every part of our bodies was touching and I could feel his breath against my ear.

“Right hand, green!” Sam called out, watching with his eyebrows raised.

Dean, Charlie, and I all moved at once, creating even more of a tangle of limbs. Charlie was surprisingly flexible and had beaten me and Dean at several rounds of Twister. 

“Dean…” My voice was shaking, as was my arm, and I tried to give a warning before I fell. It wasn’t good enough, and Dean and I were tumbling to the floor, a mess of limbs. 

“Victory!” Charlie shouted, successfully placing her hand on the green circle. She stood and jumped up and down, her hands in the air. She smirked, huffing down at the tangle that was me and Dean on the floor. “Sucks to suck, bitches.”

She and Sam high-fived as Dean and I untangled ourselves. We lay on the floor, I half on top of Dean with his arm wrapped around my back. We were panting, both scowling slightly. 

“Totally not fair,” Dean mumbled, glaring up at Charlie. 

“I agree,” I murmured, sighing.

“Looks like we got ourselves a pair of sore losers,” Charlie said to Sam with a smirk as the younger Winchester stood. 

Sam laughed and nodded. “Dean’s always been like that. Wouldn’t have pegged Cas for being the sore loser type.” He winked at the two of us before joining Charlie in the kitchen for a beer.

I looked over at Dean who was still pouting slightly. I smiled at his childish antics, nosing gently at his jaw. 

Dean raised his brows and looked down at me, his put-out expression immediately melting. He smiled and pressed his lips against mine, a small peck turning into a heated kiss. 

“Since we’re already all tangled up on the floor,” he murmured, peppering kisses down my neck, “whaddya say we just...stay here for a bit.”

I straddled Dean, tilting my head back and groaning in response.


	10. Another Round

It was the first time I had gotten drunk as a human and Dean and I stumbled around in the bar, our arms around each other’s shoulders. Sam watched us, completely amused, as he sipped his beer.

“Another shot!” Dean called out as we got to the bar, slamming his hand down on the bar, “For me ‘n this pretty little guy here.” Two more shot glasses hit the counter, deep amber liquid in each. Dean took a glass in his hand and I followed suit.

“To us,” Dean murmured, clinking our glasses together. We took the shot together, throwing back our heads as the liquor burned our throats. The room spun as I straightened and I braced myself on Dean. He laughed, wrapping his arms around me.

I smiled and looked up at Dean, unable to help myself from placing a drunk and sloppy kiss on his lips. Dean growled against my lips, kissing me back with heated frenzy.

“You should know that I get real horny after a few drinks,” Dean teased, pressing his lips against my throat.

I groaned, pressing my hips against Dean’s. Judging by the painful erection I already had pressing against my jeans, I guessed it was safe to assume the same for me. Dean ground his hips back against mine, turning so that I was pressed against the bar.

Suddenly, Sam was tugging us out of the bar and towards the Impala. We didn’t care though, as I was on top of Dean for the entire car ride home, kissing him loudly. Sam truly was a good brother.

As soon as we walked in the door, Dean began tugging at my clothes, and I at his, the two of us making obscene sounds as we made our way up to our room. 

The sex was slightly sloppy, but rough and fast, Dean pinning my arms above my head. The way he licked down my body, preparing me for him...he way he rammed into me, making the entire bed move…the way he looked at me...the things he said to me...the way I came without him even touching me...the way he came inside me, calling out my name...all things I’d definitely remember in the morning.

I awoke the next morning with a throbbing headache, my eyes shut tight against the sunlight streaming in. I groaned and rolled over, my stomach queasy. I was disappointed when Dean wasn’t still in bed, but the thought was quickly expelled from my mind as I sprinted to the bathroom, trying to make it in time before I vomited on myself. I found Dean in there, throwing up into the toilet. I joined him, vomiting the contents of last night into the sink. We were bent over our respective porcelain thrones, panting and sweating slightly.

I was suddenly overcome with another bout of nausea and was soon vomiting into the sink once again. Dean was at my side in a heartbeat, pushing back my hair and rubbing my back. 

“It’s okay, Cas. Get it all out. There you go, sweetheart.” He pressed soothing kisses to the back of my sweaty neck as I retched, my whole body heaving. I wiped my mouth when I was done, reaching for my toothbrush as I watched the vomit swirl down the sink with the flow of water.

After we each brushed extensively, Dean ushered me into the shower, following right behind. We stood under the stream of warm water in each other’s arms, laughing softly.

“Remind me to never let you have that much alcohol again,” he said teasingly, hugging me close.

“Remind me to do the same for you,” I quipped back, nipping at his ear.

He laughed, my Dean genuinely laughed, an image I wanted in my mind forever.


	11. For Dean

Dean always enjoyed watching me touch myself. He’d sit in the armchair in our room, telling me what to do while I was sprawled out on our bed, moaning his name.

“Dean…” I ran my hand over my swollen cock, swirling my thumb over the head, my back arching.

“That’s it, baby.” Dean’s voice was low and gruff, as it always was when we were intimate, and it spurred me on even more. “Imagine my hands on you, Cas. Imagine me inside you.”

I groaned at his words and made a fist around my cock, stroking slowly, not wanting this to be over too soon. I turned my head and opened my eyes, looking at Dean. His legs were spread, an obvious bulge in his jeans. All I wanted was to pull him to me and let him have his way with me. But I knew he liked this, so I continued, my eyes locked with his.

I began to stroke my hand faster, writhing on the bed, moaning Dean’s name over and over.

“That’s it, Cas,” Dean whispers in approval, and I know he’s doing everything in his power to not pounce me.

“Dean…” I feel my orgasm building up, my muscles tightening. “I’m so close…”

“Let it go, baby. Cum for me. C’mon, let it all go.”

I shouted Dean’s name, pushing my hips off the bed and thrusting into my hand, my climax hitting me hard. Suddenly, Dean was there to rock me through it, replacing my hand with his own, moving it gently. 

“I’ve got you, Cas. Let it go,” he breathed softly against my lips. 

Our breath mingled as I come down from my high and I moved to flip him over onto his back.

“My turn.”


	12. That's All, Folks

“Oh, c’mon, Cas. Not this crap again.”

I rolled my eyes and looked up at Dean, frowning at him.

“Yes, this again. I like them.” I turned back to the cartoons, unable to help but smile as the colors flashed across the screen. I loved the randomness and the characters but most importantly, I love the colors. The cartoons made me laugh and forget that I wasn’t an angel anymore. I was saddened only slightly that Dean couldn’t see that.

Dean sighed and sat down with me, pulling me against him. I went willingly, curling up between his legs and resting my head on his chest. He continued to watch the cartoons with me for the rest of the afternoon, his arms wrapped around me. I could feel him laughing at some of the jokes and I knew he was warming up to them.

One afternoon, Dean came back from a trip to the grocery store with an extra bag in hand. He passed it to me with a grin. Upon opening the bag, I couldn’t help but laugh. Dean had bought me the complete original Looney Toons series.

We spend our days off in the bunker watching the cartoons. Sometimes Sam joins us. Sometimes Kevin and Charlie are there. But Dean is always with me. 

We wrap ourselves in a blanket and eat copious amounts of junk food, cuddling and watching cartoons.


	13. Wings

I missed my wings every single day. And I would tell Dean this every single day. And every single day, Dean would hold me as I cried; he’d rock me back and forth and kiss my head. He’d hold me close.

I don’t know what made me do it. I thought it was a good idea. I shuffled back into the bunker, my eyes and nose puffy and red. 

“Cas, that you?”

A meek affirmative left my lips and Dean was in front of me in what seemed like a second.

“What is it? What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” Dean barraged me with questions and put his hand on my shoulder blade. I winced in pain, hissing a bit. “Cas…” Dean’s voice was low and I knew I was to do as he said. “Cas, take off your shirt.”

I hesitated for a moment before pulling Dean’s old AC/DC tee-shirt over my head. He moved behind me, his eyes growing wide.

“Cas…” His voice was a breathless whisper as he inspected the angel wing tattoos on my back. The wings spread from my spine across my shoulder blades and down my back. The feathers were deep colors; they looked very similar to my old wings.

“It hurts, Dean,” I said softly as a fresh wave of tears hit, causing my chest to tighten.

“Okay...okay, Cas, I’m gonna get you some ice.” He began to leave before I grabbed his hand, pulling him back to me.

“It...doesn’t hurt like that, Dean. Just...don’t leave me.”

The look he gave me was heart wrenching as he enveloped me in his arms. 

“It’s ok, angel. I’m here. I love you no matter what. Even if you don’t have your wings.”

I knew this was true and I cried even harder. As long as I had Dean, I knew that things would be okay.


	14. Camping

“Bye, Sam!” I called out, grinning as he mumbled his response. I jogged a bit to catch up with Dean, hoisting my backpack higher up onto my shoulders.

Dean was packing up the Impala, putting everything we needed into the trunk. I was excited, and Dean could tell, as I hadn’t been able to sit still for the past week.

I clambered into the car after giving my backpack to Dean and earning a chuckle and a peck on the lips. Soon after, Dean joined me and started the car, pulling out onto the road.

We drove to the campsite, which was about three hours away. The car ride was spent listening to music, Dean singing along as he held my hand. I’d never been camping before and, needless to say, I was quite excited.

When we arrived at the site, Dean parked the car, unloading our gear from the back. We hiked to a small spot by the lake, Dean deeming this area worthy of setting up camp.

He taught me how to set up the tent, laughing when the pole whacked me in the face. Once we had everything set up, I stepped back, my hands on my hips, a proud grin on my face.

“Looks good,” Dean said, stepping out of the tent. He smiled when he saw me, that beautiful smile of his, and wrapped his arms around me, tugging me close. “Whaddya say we go for a swim?”

We began tugging at each other’s clothes, pieces of fabric falling to the ground before Dean chased me into the lake. The water was cool and refreshing and I enjoyed just floating on my back with my eyes closed. That was, until Dean decided to splash me.

That night we cooked hot dogs over a fire and Dean introduced me to s’mores. They were very sticky and very sweet, which I liked very much.

“You’ve got some marshmallow on your lip,” Dean whispered, leaning in. I felt his tongue graze my bottom lip before he kissed me gently, a smile gracing his features.

The tent was much more comfortable than I had anticipated, probably because Dean was spooning me, his body wrapped around mine. I smiled and wiggled closer to him so that I could feel his breath on my skin.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispered, peppering light kisses along the back of my neck.

“I love you, too, Dean,” I said softly in reply, my eyes fluttering shut as I listened to the sounds of nature outside our tent. Camping was definitely going to become a regular thing.


	15. Pie

Dean was out for lunch with Charlie and Sam, so I had the kitchen all to myself. The plan had worked, thanks to the other two; Dean went out willingly, only after pressing numerous kisses to my lips. 

I was wearing Dean's 'Kiss The Cook' apron, a dusting of flour over my face and hands. I frowned at the cookbook, referencing it once more. I mixed the fresh blueberries into the bowl with the sugar, flour, lemon juice, lemon zest, and cinnamon. I poured the mixture into the homemade crust, gently placing the other crust on top. I then cut a design out of the dough, smiling as he put the pie into the oven.

The timer was on and I looked around at the mess that was the kitchen, sighing in frustration at how I couldn’t just zap the mess away. I began to clean, trying my hardest to get the kitchen the way it was when I started.

The timer went off just as I heard the Impala pull in. I grinned and pulled the pie out, loving the way the sweet smell filled the kitchen.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice traveled up to me and I ran a hand over my face, hoping to wipe off some flour. I could hear him running up to me and I smiled, standing in front of the counter to block out the pie. “What did you do when I was--”

He stopped when he reached the kitchen, sniffing the air. His brows furrowed and he looked at me. His pupils were blown wide, a hungry and almost animalistic look in his green eyes. 

“Is that...pie?” The last word was growled as he basically lunged towards me. I laughed and wrapped my arms around him, pressing a floury kiss against his cheek.

“It is. I made it for you. Blueberry.”

Dean grinned when he saw the pie, biting his lower lip. As he cut into the pie, his tongue swept over his lips. He shook his hips a little as he put two hulking slices of steaming pie onto plates. He passed one to me, smiling before he dug in.

The groan that escaped Dean’s lips was sinful and it took everything in me not to rip the pie from his hands.

“Holy shit, Cas. This is freakin’ amazing.” I smiled and swelled with pride at Dean’s praise. We finished our slices of pie in silence, save for Dean’s appreciative moans. When he was done, he put down his plate and I did the same, smiling coyly.

Dean approached, walking me to the flour-covered counter. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, tugging him towards me.

“Guess I need to kiss the cook,” he murmured with a chuckle, licking my floury nose.

“I suppose you do.”

And with that, Dean was kissing me. I could taste the blueberries on his tongue, tangy and sweet. I groaned into his mouth, pulling his body closer. I sensed another presence in the kitchen and lifted my lips off of Dean’s, letting his lips fall to my neck. 

“Don’t you dare take all that pie, Charlie.” My words came out as a groan as Dean sucked and nipped at my neck.

She looked at me with a pout and licked her finger. “I really just came in to watch you guys.” Charlie winked and giggled, sticking her tongue out at me when I shooed her away.

Dean kissed his way back up to my lips and I couldn’t help but laugh when I looked down at him; he had flour on his nose and chin. 

“What’re you laughing at, Feathers?”

I laughed even harder at the name. That one always got me, a name he would use when we would tease each other.

“You,” I murmured. Before he could respond, I pressed my lips to his, nipping at his bottom lip and pushing my tongue into his mouth.


	16. Wish

Charlie and I had been out for hours and I was exhausted. I just wanted to go back home and watch a movie with Dean. She’d taken me out for breakfast, which was actually quite good, and then we made our way to a bookstore. We spent hours there, until lunch. I bought quite a few books; some for myself that Charlie recommended, some for Dean, and some for Sam. 

After lunch, Charlie decided that she absolutely had to take me shopping.

“You cannot keep on wearing Dean’s old clothes! As cute as it is, you just can’t.”

I frowned down at the old Metallica tee-shirt and ripped jeans. The clothes did hang loosely on my body, as Dean was taller than I, but I enjoyed wearing Dean’s clothes all the time. I shrugged and looked back up at Charlie, finally agreeing.

And so she took me shopping, squealing with glee at every outfit I put on. Charlie insisted I change into one of my new outfits; I was dressed in dark wash jeans and a cobalt blue v-neck tee-shirt. The day passed by us and when I checked my watch, it was already quarter to six. 

“Can we please go home now?” I asked, embarrassed at the slight whine in my voice. Charlie laughed and tugged me towards her car, driving back to the bunker.

When we got back, the bunker was dark and it appeared as if no one was home. My brows furrowed and I huffed, only wanting to curl up with Dean, maybe show him what I had bought with Charlie. 

“They probably went out to dinner with Kevin,” I mumbled, unable to stop the glare I shot towards Charlie. I headed towards the living room planning on watching TV until Dean got back.

“SURPRISE!”

Suddenly, the lights flipped on and Kevin, Sam, and Dean all popped out from various hiding places. There was a Happy Birthday banner hanging from the ceiling and Dean had just thrown a handful of confetti in the air. He blew into some sort of contraption, creating a high-pitched honk.

There was a cake on the table, as well as multiple presents wrapped in brightly colored paper. Dean was wearing a silly looking triangular hat and I couldn’t help but smile. I walked over to Dean and he enveloped me in a hug, his strong arms pulling me against him.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he whispered against my neck. I clutched to him, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. “I know what you’re going to say but before you can say it, everyone has a birthday. Even you, Cas.”

He ushered me over to the table, sitting me down in front of the cake. Sam and Kevin began lighting the candles and I looked over at Dean, smiling at how the flames flickered warmly in Dean’s eyes.

“Happy birthday to you…”

The entire group started to sing and my cheeks heated with embarrassment. I cast my eyes down, laughing softly as the four of them sang loudly, Dean’s voice the loudest of all.

“Blow out the candles, Cas. Make a wish.” Dean’s voice was right next to my ear and I shivered as his breath ran over my skin.

I leaned forward and closed my eyes, thinking about my wish as I blew out the candles. The cake was cut and served and we were all eating on the couch, I curled in Dean’s arms. 

“So, what did you wish for?” he asked slyly, slipping me a smile. 

Before I could answer, Charlie, who was sitting on the floor, slapped his leg; Dean pouted down at her. She looked up at me with a smile.

“Don’t tell anyone. If you do, your wish won’t come true.” 

I smirked at Dean, taking another bite of cake as I settled back down against his chest. 

We all had seconds and thirds of the cake, presents were opened, and everyone was laying around, comfortable and happy. The others went off to bed, one by one, each wishing me a happy birthday on the way out. Just Dean and I were left, pressed against each other in a warm embrace.

“I didn’t wish for anything,” I said suddenly, clutching at Dean’s shirt. He looked down at me with furrowed brows, obviously confused. I tilted my head up to look into his green eyes. “I have everything I could ever need right here.”

He grinned at that, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Y’know what the best part about birthdays is?” I shook my head. “Birthday sex. With leftover birthday cake.”

I laughed as Dean dragged me, and the cake, up to the bedroom.


	17. Stars

Dean and I were sprawled out on the hood of the Impala, beers in our hands, as we stared up at the night sky. The sky was dark and stars peppered the black backdrop. The moon was large and white, shining down on us. Dean held his beer in one hand, his other hand grasping my own. My head was pressed against his shoulder and our legs were tangled together. 

“I love you,” Dean said suddenly, turning his head to look down at me. I smiled, still looking up at the sky, unable to tear my eyes away from the heavens, or whatever they were now.

“I love you, too, Dean.” My voice was soft, almost distracted, as I concentrated on the stars, trying to count them.

Dean sat up a bit, still staring down at me. I still didn’t move, I just remained where I was, staring up at the sky.

“I want you,” he said suddenly. That snapped me out of my trance. I looked at Dean, my eyes wide.

“You...what?”

“I want you, Cas. Right here. Right now.”

I smiled and reached up, cupping Dean’s cheek. I brought his face down for a gentle kiss. He sighed softly against my lips, melting against me. I pulled away, looking into those beautiful eyes. Not even the stars could compare to the beauty of Dean’s eyes.

“I’m all yours, Dean.”

He grinned and kissed me again, this time with more passion, as he clambered on top of me. Our beers fell to the ground, forgotten, as we began to tug at each other’s clothes. A groan escaped both of our mouths when we were finally both unclothed, our naked bodies moving together.

Dean’s fingers traveled down my body, his fingers lightly teasing my skin, heating me up in all the right places. Finally, his fingers reached their destination and he began prepping me, moving two of his fingers in and out of me slowly. 

“Please,” I whimpered, pressing up against Dean who was accosting my neck with his lips.

Dean removed his fingers and slowly pushed the head of his cock against my entrance. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing against him, my body begging for more.

Dean wrapped one strong arm around me, his other hand grabbing my straining erection. Dean began to thrust into me, his forehead pressed against my collarbone. He stroked my cock in unison with his thrusts, our groans mingling together in the night air as we made love.

It was slow and tender, full of palpable passion and love. Dean lifted his head, pressing his forehead against mine. Our eyes met and I could almost feel Dean’s soul, like I could when I was an angel. My eyes filled with tears, tears of intense pleasure, as Dean kissed the salty droplets that fell down my cheeks.

“Feel so good, angel,” he whispered against my lips, our noses rubbing together. “So close, baby. Want you to cum with me, babe. Want you with me, Cas.”

I nodded, unable to form any other reply but a moan as I thrust up against Dean’s hand. Our bodies moved in sync, our muscles tensing as we came together, shuddering against one another.

Dean collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close against me. 

I could feel our love enveloping us like a blanket.


	18. Scared

I was pressed up against Dean, my face half hidden in his chest, my fingers clutching at his shirt. As the girls head spun around, I whimpered, moving closer to Dean, grasping at him more fiercely. 

“D-Dean…” I stammered, my voice shaking. “Why do we have to watch this?” Dean smirked down at me and rolled his eyes. 

“Because it’s a classic horror film, Cas. You’ve gotta watch The Exorcist. You just gotta.” Still, he held me tighter, gently rubbing his hand up and down my shoulder as he munched on popcorn, grinning at the screen. 

I whimpered, not understanding why someone would want to watch this.

“C’mon, Cas,” Sam said with a grin as he sat back down on the couch after having grabbed a beer. “We see worse shit than this on hunts!” He clapped me on the leg, he and Dean sharing an amused look as I burrowed further into Dean’s side.

I knew Sam was right but there was still something about this film that I just really didn’t like.

Finally, the movie was over, and the three of us trudged upstairs to bed. I curled up with Dean on our memory foam mattress, moving close to him.

“Whatsa matter, Cas? Scared?” Dean asked softly, frowning as I nodded my head. He pulled me tight against him, holding me in his strong arms. “Don’t worry, babe. You’ve got the best hunter around.”


	19. Lazy Sunday

We woke up in the late afternoon, sunlight streaming in through the windows. It didn’t matter; it was Sunday and we didn’t have anywhere to be. I stirred, rolling over into Dean’s side, humming softly at his warmth.

My movements woke him up and he wrapped an arm around me, letting the pads of his fingers gently move across my skin. The sensation tickled my skin and made me smile.

Dean reached for the remote, turning on the TV we had in our room. We curled up together in bed, Dean flipping through the channels until he came across a rerun of Dr. Sexy. I laughed softly as Dean settled comfortably against the pillows, immediately becoming involved in the show.

This was what Heaven was. Our bed, the sheets wrapped haphazardly around us, in one another’s embrace. There was a knock at the door and Dean hummed, signaling that we were not indecent.

Sam shuffled in, still in pajamas, his hair mussed from sleep. His lips twitched up in a smile as he plopped down on the bed with us, resting his hands behind his head.

The three of us remained there for the rest of the afternoon, watching TV, drifting in and out of consciousness. Not a word was spoken. It was quiet and peaceful. Everything was right.


	20. Reading

I sat in an armchair as Dean watched TV, my nose buried in the book. He looked over at me and shook his head, huffing out a laugh. “Still reading those books?”

I glanced up at him over the top of the book, shooting him a glare.

“Yes, I’m still reading these books. There are seven of them and I’m only on the fourth.” Charlie had recommended the Harry Potter series to me when she learned that I liked to read. She promised that they were the best set of books I’d ever read, and I was enjoying them.

Dean had disapproved because he’d only seen parts of the movie versions on TV and he said that they “didn’t look any good.” Despite this, I read the books, instantly falling in love with the characters. 

I sighed and stood, turning off the TV, much to Dean’s chagrin. I sat next to him, gathering him in my arms as I began to read aloud. Dean groaned, trying to get out of my grasp. I only smirked and held him tighter. Finally, he relented and began listening, and I could tell that he was interested.

“‘You've picked the losing side, Potter! I warned you! I told you you ought to choose your company more carefully, remember? When we met on the train, first day at Hogwarts? I told you not to hang around with riffraff like this!’ He jerked his head at Ron and Hermione. ‘Too late now, Potter! they'll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord's back! Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first!’”

“I think these two will end up together,” I said softly, my brows furrowing as I nodded my head

“What? No! Draco is the bad guy.”

“Can’t you see it, Dean? They obviously have a very strong bond. It’ll happen.”

Charlie jumped out from the kitchen, her hands thrown up in the air in victory.

“Yes! I knew you’d ship Drarry!”

Dean and I both looked at her, our brows furrowed in confusion. She came over to the couch and plopped down next to us.

“Now that you’ve passed the test and you ship Drarry, I can finally tell you about the best book series there is!”

I looked at her expectantly, sitting up a bit. If Harry Potter wasn’t the best book series ever, then what was?

“Supernatural by Carv--” 

Before she could finish the author’s name, Dean was after her, chasing her around with a pillow.

“Don’t you dare give those to him!” he shouted, tackling her to the ground.

“Why?” She smirked up at him, raising her brows. “Afraid he’ll find some fanfiction?”

I shook my head and laughed, turning back to my book as the two battled on the floor.


	21. Dream

I was woken up by Dean thrashing around on the bed, his face taught as a nightmare plagued him. He kicked and screamed, almost knocking me off the bed.

“Cas! Cas, no! No! Please…” Dean’s voice was a pleading whimper and it sounded as if he was going to cry.

I finally got near enough to shake him, rousing him from his dream with a shout. He was trembling as I gathered him in my arms, gently rocking him back and forth. Dean was crying, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he shook, his face pressed into my chest.

“What happened, Dean? Tell me.” My voice was soft and soothing as I stroked my fingers through his hair.

“I...It was…” He looked up at me with teary eyes, his breath stuttering as he inhaled. “You were on the ceiling and...and you were like…” 

Dean stopped but he didn’t need to continue. I realized that he had dreamt that I had died in the same fashion as his mother. I held him even closer, pressing kisses to the top of his head.

“Shh, Dean. it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m right here; I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered against the top of his head, my heart breaking at the sight of the quivering hunter. Dean was so strong; tonight, though, he needed someone to be strong for him. And I was right there to take on the load.


	22. Jude

Dean had given me one of the cars that was being housed in the Men of Letters garage. The car was a sickeningly bright green, and Dean offered to give it a paint job, but I liked it. I often got compliments from strangers about the vintage car, and my chest would puff out with pride as I ran my fingers over the smooth metal. I finally understood why Dean loved his car so much.

I was out getting groceries when I passed by a pet shop and I stopped to look in the window, smiling at all of the small puppies playing in the window. I couldn’t help myself from stepping inside the shop, immediately going over to the corral of puppies. I stuck my hand in and smiled as the small dogs began licking and nosing at my fingers. 

A spotted dog, about a foot tall, came bounding over to me, immediately wanting to play. I smiled and picked up the puppy, laughing as she licked my nose.

“She’s for sale, if you like her,” the saleswoman said to me, walking over and lightly petting the dog’s head. “She’s about two months old.”

I inspected the puppy, smiling at her floppy and spotted ears. The bunker could use a dog, and she seemed perfect: energetic and happy. I looked over at the saleswoman and grinned; I’d take her.

For the entire car ride home, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Dean was probably going to kill me, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The dog was just too...cute. I couldn’t leave her behind.

“Dean? Dean, I’m home!” I walked into the bunker slowly, puppy in one hand groceries in the other, afraid of Dean’s reaction.

I could hear Dean’s footsteps coming towards me and I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the explosion. Dean stopped in his tracks when he saw me, his eyes going wide.

“Castiel…” Dean only used my full name when I did something to, as Sam put it, “royally piss him off.”

“Dean, I couldn’t leave her there!” My voice was frantic as I began to explain myself. My heart was racing and I was beginning to panic. “Please, Dean. Can’t we please keep her?” I put the groceries down and walked towards Dean, putting the puppy in his arms. “Look how good she is, Dean. Please. I’ll take care of her, I promise. Plus, I have my own car and she wouldn’t have to go into the Impala ever!” I looked up at Dean with pleading eyes, hoping he’d finally relent.

“Cas, we can’t just bring anything we want into this house,” he said softly. I knew he was trying to be nice; let me down easy. “How are we going to take care of her? Hunting doesn’t pay much, last I checked. Just because you like her doesn’t mean we can keep her.”

“But you like me and you kept me,” I said in reply, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. I frowned, feeling a pain in my chest as I looked down at the dog, not wanting to give her up so soon.

“Okay, fine,” Dean sighed, a smile finally breaking out over those perfect lips. The puppy leaned up, licking a stripe up Dean’s cheek. I grinned, pecking him on the other cheek. He grimaced for a moment before laughing, looking at me with so much joy in those green eyes. I knew having a dog at the bunker would brighten things up. “What’re we gonna call her?”

We were silent for a few moments as we looked down at the dog in Dean’s arms, petting her soft fur. “We could call her...Jude. Yeah, we can name her Jude. Like that song you always sing before we go to bed.”

Dean looked up at me and smiled, pressing a kiss to my lips before looking back down at the puppy in his arms. 

“Hey, Jude...don’t make it bad…”

I smiled as Dean began to sing, resting my head against his shoulder as we cradled the small dog between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Hey Jude, The Beatles


	23. The Weight

I sat in an armchair, drawing and drinking tea as Dean played the guitar I had recently gotten him. I looked up at him for a moment and smiled as I looked back down at my paper, putting in the details of Dean strumming the guitar. I finished my drawing, putting down my sketchpad and walking towards Dean, sitting down next to him. 

“Dean,” I said softly, mesmerized by the way Dean’s fingers moved over the strings. “Will you teach me how to sing?” My voice was hesitant, as I didn’t want to bother Dean. He looked up at me from beneath his long lashes, his green eyes sparkling. 

“Of course I will, baby.” He was quiet for a minute, thinking of a song to play. “Hey, remember that song we listened to the other day? The one you made me put on repeat?”

I smiled and nodded, moving closer to Dean. He’d been making me listen to some more classic rock with him and there was one song in particular that I really enjoyed. I made him play it on the CD player over and over until I had learned every word.

“I’ll start us off. Come in whenever you want, Cas.” Dean began to strum on his guitar, taking a breath before looking up at me.

“I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past dead. I just need some place where I can lay my head…”

I took in a deep breath before joining Dean, my voice soft. A red flush spread over my cheeks as I began to sing.

“Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"

I sang that one line with Dean before I let him continue on his own. The song was so much more beautiful with Dean just singing.

He didn’t take his eyes off of mine for a moment. I was trapped in that green gaze, letting Dean’s voice wash over me.

“Take a load off, Fanny. Take a load for free. Take a load off, Fanny. And you put the load right on me.”

I smiled as Dean finished the song, a soft sigh escaping my lips. There was something in the way Dean sang that immediately made me relaxed.

Suddenly, his lips were on mine in a soft, lingering, tender kiss. I sighed and practically melted, letting my Dean kiss away my load.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Weight, The Band  
> Sung By: Jensen Ackles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNMX7HovRD8)


	24. Mornings

Dean and I had fallen into a routine in the mornings. We’d wake up each morning around 9:30, as Dean liked to sleep in a bit, and we’d stay in bed for about a half hour. We’d either talk or kiss or just watch each other before finally getting up to face the day. 

We would then shower together, washing each other’s hair, gentle movements under the warm stream of water. Sometimes Dean would get a little handsy in the shower and I’d merely laugh, letting him do as he pleased.

By then it was usually about 10:30 when we would finally go downstairs for breakfast. I’d read the paper with Sam, who by now had been up for hours, while Dean made breakfast. He’d make scrambled eggs and a bowl of fruit for Sam but for the two of us? Dean would make a feast. Fried eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, and some fruit, of course.

Dean would put on a pot of coffee for himself and make tea for me, as I didn’t like the taste of coffee. I still didn’t understand how Dean could drink that. He’d scarf down his breakfast, watching me the whole time. I once asked him about it; apparently he enjoyed watching me read, watching the way my brows furrowed in concentration.

After breakfast, Sam and I would usually do some research if we found a potential case, and Dean would scour some more newspapers for mysterious happenings. Around one, we’d break for lunch.

I loved the mornings; they were one of the best parts of my days. The part I liked best, though, was waking up to Dean in my arms.


	25. Prayers

I heard a soft sobbing coming from the room I shared with Dean, small cried mingled with words. I walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb the hunter. The sight I saw took my breath away.

Dean was kneeling beside our bed, his fingers laced and his head bent. His eyes were closed and tears were streaming down his face, his body heaving each time he took a breath.

“Cas…” His voice was a soft whisper. For a moment, I thought that he knew I was in the room. That was until I realized he was praying to me. “Cas, man, I need you. And you’re here, I know that. You’re here and you’re with me and it’s more than I could ever ask for. But I know…” Dean paused to take a shaky breath. “I know that you aren’t all here.” He tilted his head up, his eyes still closed.

“I know being human is hard on you. I know you miss being an angel and I know you feel useless sometimes. Cas, buddy, you gotta believe me. You aren’t useless, not one bit. You’ve saved me, Cas. Not in the way you used to. You saved me by staying here. Being with me.”

Tears were now streaming down my face as I listened to Dean, my mouth slightly ajar.

“Please don’t ever leave me, Cas.” His voice was low and shaky, full of fear. “I can’t live without you. If you ever left me I...I don’t know what I would do. Cas…” He paused, taking in another deep breath. “Cas, I love you. I need you here. I need you to protect me.”

Dean clenched his hands harder and I could see his knuckles turning white. He sobbed, his face falling to the bed.

“I’m broken, Cas. I’m all busted up and I don’t know if I’ll ever be fixed. But you...having you here makes everything better. You give me hope, Cas. And I can’t lose that. Because I don’t know what’ll happen if…”

I strode into the room, gathering Dean into my arms. He gasped, his eyes going wide when he realized I had been listening. I held him close, wishing I could just put my fingers to his head and ease him out of his pain.

“I know praying doesn’t do much good anymore,” he said softly, seeming to have calmed down a bit. “But I can’t help it. It’s something I’ve done for so long and…”

I shushed him, gently rocking him back and forth, pulling him further into me.

“It’s okay, Dean. I’m right here and I’m not ever going anywhere.” I kissed the top of his head, listening to the sobs that filled the room. I let him cry. I let him get it out. Finally, he’d fallen asleep in my arms, having knocked himself out. I sighed, pressing light kisses against Dean’s head as he slept, gently rocking him back and forth.


	26. Beach

“Aw, c’mon, Sammy. It’ll be fun. You have to come with us!”

I laughed at how Dean pleaded with his brother, attempting to give the younger Winchester the “puppy eyes.” We were all packed and ready to go, bags upon bags of towels and sunscreen and food at our feet.

“Fine, I’ll come,” Sam sighed, raking a hand through his hair. Dean pumped his fist in the air in victory.

“C’mon, baby. Help me pack up the car while Sam get’s ready.” Dean was overjoyed, obviously, and I couldn’t help but smile at the skip in his step.

Dean had been wanting to take me to the beach for a while, but he told me we couldn’t go until it was really hot out. So, today was finally the day, my first trip to the beach as a human.

I’d been to the ocean before, as an angel. The seas were a beautiful creation, the way the rushed up the shore in a steady rhythm. I’d never experienced the beach as a human and Dean said it was a “whole new ballpark,” whatever that meant.

We packed up my car, Dean refusing to take the Impala because of sand and because he wouldn’t let Jude anywhere near his car. There was barely enough room for the three of us and the dog by the time the car was fully packed.

To Dean’s instance, we arrived at the beach relatively early, as we had to get a good spot. We lugged our gear down by the water, setting up chairs and umbrellas and a shady spot for Jude. When we were set up, Dean walked towards me, tugging off my shirt.

“Gotta put on sunscreen, Cas. Then we can go swimming.” Dean began rubbing sunscreen onto my back, trailing his fingers over the wing tattoos. I smiled, melting into his touch with a soft sigh. Suddenly, I was being tugged towards the ocean.

Dean and I fell asleep in the sun while Sam went for a run with Jude. The way the warmth of the sun aided me in drifting in and out of consciousness was truly surreal. We ate, swam, read, played games, and napped for the entire day, the hours slipping away as the sun began to sink in the sky. 

We packed up at dusk, trudging back to the car with tired feet. Sam drove back home, Dean and I sleeping in the back seat.

When we arrived home, Dean and I headed to the shower. I peeled off my tee-shirt, wincing at the pain that shot through my body. I looked down at my chest which was bright red and sore. I began to panic.

“Dean! Dean, something very bad has happened to me…” Dean could hear the panic in my voice and sprinted into the bathroom. He stared at me for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “What? I do not see anything funny about this, Dean.”

“You just got sunburned, Cas.” He came over, sticking out his arms. “See how my skin is darker? I got tan at the beach today. Guess you’re just fair skinned.” He chuckled softly as he turned on the shower. “Hop in, the cool water will make it feel better.”

I pouted as I stood beneath the steady stream of cold water, letting Dean gently rub soap over my tender skin.

“I don’t like the beach,” I decided with a huff. “There’s sand in places where there shouldn’t be sand and now I’m burned.” Dean laughed, peppering kisses against my back.


	27. Shudder

Dean flipped me over, hovering over me, looking down at me with so much passion.

“I want you to make love to me,” he whispered against my lips. I looked up at him questioningly. He smiled and nodded, rolling off of me and pulling me on top. “Please, Cas. Need you.”

Being with me had become a novelty to Dean, something that he was denied with every easy hookup and fling. He’d never been able to really savor it, to make his partners feel something. 

It’s no wonder, then, that Dean takes an excessive amount of time to go slow and do these things with me. But what’s even more important is that, for the first time ever, these things are being done to him.

Dean’s a giver. It’s just what he does, just how he is. He gives and gives and gives until there’s nothing left. I’m the first person to give something back. I returns every touch, respond to every press of skin, push back into every kiss. And I know that this shatters Dean every single time. I guess now Dean has discovered that he doesn’t mind being taken care of too much either. And so, Dean has started to learn how to take every once in a while. 

I kissed him softly, making my way down his lithe form, pressing soft kisses on his skin. He wriggled beneath me, soft please echoing from his lips. I came back up, quieting him with a kiss to his lips. I slowly began to stretch him open, whispering soft words as he moved beneath me.

When Dean was prepped, I slowly pushed into him. Dean likes it best slow, where we take our time disassembling each other until we’re nothing more than shivery messes, where we work over each other with gentle hands and soft touches. 

Dean was laid out in front of me, completely wrecked as I moved inside him. I coaxed him to the edge until he shook, losing control with a cry. I followed soon after, choking out Dean’s name.

I collapsed next to him, gathering him in my arms. I pressed soft kisses to his face, my lips trailing over even the faintest of freckles.

“Thank you.”

His whisper was almost inaudible in the dark room and I shuddered, pulling him closer.

“No, Dean. Thank you.”


	28. Kisses

Surprise kisses are my favorite.

Long, slow, indulgent kisses are high on my list of favorite human sensations too, but there is something special about being able to dart forward and press a kiss to an unsuspecting Dean’s lips. I likes the little flicker of surprise on my hunter’s face. This is usually followed by a mock exasperated grin as Dean pulls me in and delivers a much more insistent kiss that makes my stomach flutter because I can feel Dean’s smile against my own. I likes that; that I always have such a simple, easy means of bringing a little spark of happiness into Dean’s day.

And if the spark fans into a flame, well I likes that just fine too.


	29. Bond

We were curled around each other in bed, still panting and slightly sweaty. Not ten seconds ago Dean had been choking out my name as he shook above me and my fingers were digging into his neck almost as hard as my heels were digging into his back. My voice had been low in his ear, demanding and desperate, and my body so tight around him. Our bodies moved frantically together, soaked in sweat and other fluids. It had been wild and messy and the noises we’d made...

Dean had his eyes closed, the sheets wrapped messily around his waist. I looked over at him, a smile plastered across my lips. I couldn’t help my eyes from roaming over that perfect body. I found myself being drawn to the handprint on Dean’s shoulder; my handprint, still there after all these years.

I don’t know what made me do it. I don’t know what took me so long to do it. I was reaching out, fitting my hand over the print. There was, what seemed to be, a spark of energy that flowed through us at the contact. Dean looked at me with wild eyes, his breath hitching.

“Why...how did that just…” 

“Must be our bond,” I said with a shrug, tracing the handprint with the pads of my fingers.

Dean shivered, groaning softly at the way electricity seemed to spark within us. I could see how much Dean was enjoying this and so I continued, studying and tracing every last detail of the handprint.

He came closer to me, shifting so that I could easily and comfortably keep my hand on his arm. I smiled and wrapped my other arm around him, pulling him onto my chest.

Dean fell asleep as I traced over the handprint. I could feel him breathing against my chest, gentle puffs of air tickling my skin.

I looked down at Dean, studying his peaceful face carefully before shutting my own eyes.

“A more profound bond,” I whispered into Dean’s hair, smiling as he instinctively pressed closer to me.


	30. Dean?

Dean and I were sitting in his car, the rain pounding against the windows of the Impala. He had his arm around me, my head resting on his shoulder. We were parked, overlooking a steep cliff, mountains off in the distance. I smiled, moving closer, pressing my nose into his leather jacket.

I sighed happily, letting my hand come to rest on Dean’s thigh. I could feel him smile, his lips pressed against the top of my head. He brought his other hand to mine, entwining my fingers.

I shifted slightly, sitting up a bit. I stared out of the front of the Impala, watching the rain hit the windshield. This was...perfect. I could tell that Dean was staring at me. He did that sometimes. I had asked him about it once. He said that he just enjoyed watching me, memorizing my face. He’d been watching me for a while now and I turned to him, my brows furrowed.

“Dean?”

“Marry me,” Dean blurted suddenly, his eyes wide and hopeful. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a silver wedding band. He took my hand, which was still resting on his thigh, looking at me with those beautiful green eyes.

I couldn’t help the tears that flowed from my eyes and down my cheeks; I also couldn’t help the smile that broke out across my face.

I nodded, unable to speak, and Dean slid the ring onto my ring finger. He then reached up, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

“Dean,” I whispered, looking down at the silver ring, admiring it.

Dean smiled at me and I gave him a small smile, reaching up to wipe the tears that had gathered in my hunter’s green eyes.

I kissed Dean, smiling against my fiance’s lips.


End file.
